• Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
• You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on "hold".
• Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
• You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
• You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.
• You wake up face down on the pavement.
• Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
• The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
• Your income tax refund check bounces.
• You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
• Your blind date turns out to be your ex wife.
• Your pet rock snaps at you.
• You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
• Your boss tells you not to take off your coat.
• You wake up and your braces are locked together.
• You call your answering service and they tell you its none of your business.
• You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
• Your wife says" Good morning Bill" and your name is George.
• When you type your resignation and your boss's are no where to be found.

Author unknown but troubled.